Today I asked the women in my Healing Female Pain community what topics they wanted to cover in our monthly call.
I wasn’t surprised by their responses. Here are a few…
- Rage. Sexual abuse. Connecting with our power.
- Ways of working with specific traumas/episodes earlier in life. And boundaries – saying no. Why it’s so important for our health.
- Finding our power, Trauma and abuse from events in our life & Setting boundaries.
Trauma. Rage. Abuse. Boundaries. Reclaiming our power.
Basically, what do we do with all of this anger? How do we heal this trauma? How can we empower ourselves?
If recent news has left you wondering how to deal with some of this yourself…
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
I doubt there is a woman I know that isn’t feeling triggered right now, or hasn’t experienced some form of sexual trauma. If not sexual assault, rape, or other physical abuse…..the long term chronic trauma of living in a culture that has silenced women, and allowed this level of violence against us to go unchecked and remain underground for so long.
The bottom line is we are ALL carrying around the impact of centuries of shame, oppression, and violence towards the female body and female sexuality.
What that means is that to some extent we are all unconsciously suppressing parts of ourselves in order to survive.
And, there are some pretty big costs of this suppression, both physical and emotional.
Not only does it cut us off from our life force energy, our intuition, and our ability to thrive and experience real pleasure.
It is incredibly physically hard on our bodies. triggering the fight or flight response, creating chronic tension, impacting hormone balance, circulation, and pain pathways in the brain.
In light of the number of women sharing #metoo stories, it’s not hard to see how women’s health issues like chronic pelvic pain, fatigue, anxiety, and depression, have reached epidemic proportions.
Unhealed trauma, unexpressed anger and rage, unfelt pleasure and desire affect our health.
If you’ve been on an emotional roller coaster these past couple weeks, and/or you’re feeling triggered around your own trauma…
Here are a few things I want you to know:
1)While things might feel uncomfortable and overwhelming right now, increased awareness is always good, especially increased awareness of your own truth and emotional experience. Don’t stuff what’s coming up. Whatever it is, it’s likely been contributing to your pain. This is an opportunity to heal it.
2)Acknowledging and healing the impact of trauma on your body is an important part of relieving painful sex and other types of pelvic pain (along with anxiety, depression, and other chronic health issues). A mind body approach is a really effective way to help heal all of this.
3)Your rage is here for a reason and it is an incredibly valuable and powerful tool in healing and reclaiming your power and sense of self. Don’t suppress it, learn how to allow it, feel it, welcome it, and use it. Here are a couple blog posts to help you with that:
4)You are not alone. If you’re feeling alone and triggered I encourage you to get some support. In particular support with allowing and feeling your emotions IN YOUR BODY. Connect with other women. Consider therapy if you’ve experienced trauma and never talked with a therapist about it. Check out my website. There is a ton on information on my blog that can help with allowing emotions in a healthy way. My Healing Female Pain program walks you step by step through the process of reclaiming your body and emotions, and is available to start any time. I also offer private coaching programs that provide more customized one-on-one guidance and support.
5)Healing the effects of sexual trauma is not only possible, it is a doorway to new levels of freedom, connection and joy in your body and in your life….as well as change on a bigger scale. That said, we can’t do it all at once. Take good care of yourself. Do things that nourish your body and soul, whether that’s extra rest, time in nature, a warm bath, or something else that feels like play to you.
Whatever is coming up for you right now, I invite you to honor and be present with your experience and yourself. Speak up and share your truth in ways that feel safe to you. Find support. While it can feel hard to face some of the deeper issues that can be underlying or contributing to pelvic pain, it is so important to do.
There is a whole world of pleasure, health, joy, energy, and empowerment that are rightfully yours and totally accessible. This is an opportunity to begin (or continue) reclaiming that for yourself.
As each one of us heals ourselves, we empower every other woman to do the same.