If you’ve been struggling with painful sex, lack of desire, not enjoying sex, chronic infections, or other pelvic health issues, it could be that the way you have learned to think about orgasm is part of the problem.
Our current model of sex and orgasm, combined with regular misinformation about how your body is meant to function sexually (as defined largely by men through culture, media, and our current medical model) can be the underlying cause of not only pain and chronic infections, but of not enjoying sex, not wanting to have sex, and not having orgasms when you do.
As a woman, you were designed to experience delicious full body orgasms regularly.
I’m talking about orgasm that feel like waves of bliss throughout your ENTIRE BODY…from the tips of your toes to the top of your head.
Orgasm that changes your experience of yourself and who you are.
And what’s more, all of this can happen without a partner, and without even touching your vulva or vagina.
I bet you didn’t know that.
I didn’t, until recently, after a year of in depth focus on healing my own sexuality.
Like most women I had a very narrow understanding of female orgasm, and while I knew there must be more, I NEVER in a million years thought I could experience so much pleasure from simply lying down and breathing.
This is pretty revolutionary information to have, especially if you’re suffering with any type of pelvic or sexual pain or discomfort, or you work with women who do.
So, how can it be that so many women don’t know this?
Female pleasure and orgasm have been distorted to fit a male model of pleasure and orgasm, that is very physiological, goal oriented, and focused on climax – ie) contractions of the pelvic floor muscles.
But there is a whole blissful range of orgasm possible that does not fit this model or have these characteristics.
And opening up your mind to that possibility is really important for your pelvic health!
As well as for fully enjoying your life.
I would say it’s the number one thing missing from most women’s quest for optimal health and well being….
Conscious focus on healing their sexuality.
Which as we can see from the #metoo movement, and increased awareness around sexual abuse and assault…most of us need to do!
So today I want to give you a roadmap for redefining orgasm for yourself, and discovering how your body is designed to experience pleasure.
It’s probably going to be different than you were expecting.
In the coming months I’ll talk more about the different components of this roadmap, and how you can explore them more fully.
I’ll go deeper into the key ingredients of pleasure and healing, including breath, sound, and movement, and how to use them in a regular self-pleasure practice, and with a partner.
But I want to start by giving you an overview of what it takes to re-awaken incredible levels of pleasure, bliss and energy in your body.
7 Steps to Experiencing Full Body Orgasms Without Pain:
#1 Establish a regular self-pleasure practice. I really can’t overemphasize the importance of setting aside a regular time, even a couple times a week to be present with yourself and your body in a loving way. It’s an important component of healing and discovering how your body is designed to experience pleasure.
#2 Create a space that feels safe, nurturing, and cozy. I like to think of my self-pleasure time as a time that I nourish my body. What feels safe and nourishing to you? Do you want to lie on a soft blanket, put on some beautiful music, have a delicious snack or drink nearby, lock the door?
#3 Be present with your body without any goal. Remember that climax and orgasm are not the same thing, and that striving for one prevents the other.
#4 Breathe. Begin with breathing into your low belly and pelvis. There are different types of breathing that can enhance pleasure in your body, and I’ll share more about those in future posts. But I’ve found that the most effective way to breathe, at least at first, is a simple, gentle, continuous breath (no pausing between the inbreath and outbreath).
#5 Notice and allow sensations. Including sensations of both pleasure and discomfort. You may be surprised to find that sensations of pleasure in your body can be as just as difficult to stay present with as pain or discomfort.
#6 Love your body up with touch. How does your body love to be touched? Try placing your hand over your heart or womb, or give yourself a nice belly or breast massage. Whatever you choose go slow, stay tuned in and present with sensation, and keep breathing.
#7 Allow your body to move and make sound. Whatever feels good and natural. Follow your bodies lead. You may find yourself wanting to cry, laugh, yell, kick, undulate or curl up in a ball. Whatever shows up for you is perfect.
You may love exploring your body and sexuality in this way, or find it difficult at first…or a little bit of both.
Women can have a lot of resistance to feeling pleasure in their body, so keep that in mind, and as always go at your own pace.
In future posts I’ll share more details with you on all of this, including why breath, sound, and movement are so important, as well as ways to overcome cultural conditioning, sexual shame and past trauma.
The key to mind blowing, one with the universe full body orgasms is very very simple.
It has everything to do with allowing yourself to fully be and experience YOU.
And all the wonder that is YOUR AMAZING FEMALE BODY.
Understandably, most of us don’t have models of fully sexually empowered women in our lives. As a result, we never learn what that is or see and feel what it’s like in a real woman’s body.
Which is why exploring and discovering your truth in your own body is so important!
Spending regular time nourishing yourself with pleasure is not only the fast track to relieving pelvic pain, painful sex, and other discomfort; it’s the path to full sexual freedom, connection, empowerment, and joy.
And who doesn’t want that?
I invite you to begin exploring.