Our natural tendency when something is wrong, especially something with our body, (like pelvic pain) is to retreat into and rely on our mind.
Which makes perfect sense not only because we’ve been taught to value our intellect and our problem solving abilities over our body and intuition, but also because when we’re experiencing pain it doesn’t feel very good in our body!
We see our body as the problem. It’s broken and it needs to be fixed. Or so we think.
When we’re in chronic pain it can be scary. It’s completely normal to worry about the future, obsess about our symptoms, and do everything we can to figure out how to heal.
And we’re good at figuring things out. At least we have been up until we started struggling with pelvic pain. So, we spend hours researching on the internet, looking for solutions, making plans about what to do next – which specialists to see, what diet to eat, which drugs to take. Our time becomes filled with scheduling and keeping appointments. It’s exhausting and all consuming.
We work so hard at finding a solution to our pain because we believe that if we try hard enough and think long enough we’ll be able to fix it. We’ll be able to figure it out and get out of pain.
Unfortunately this approach is not usually effective.
From Pelvic Pain to Pelvic Health – My Story
I had just returned from yet another visit with a doctor who had no idea what was wrong with me. But, even though my tests were normal, this doctor at least had a recommendation about what to do. But could I really handle antibiotics for a year?
Wouldn’t that be incredibly bad for a woman who had just gotten over a year’s worth of chronic yeast infections? I knew I could not go through that again, especially on top of the pain I was in now. I couldn’t even imagine it. Whatever I was going to do I was pretty sure antibiotics were not an option. And I was equally sure that the doctor who suggested them was not going to be able to help me.
But then what? I could see no other options. No direction. No specialists I knew of to see. I felt overwhelmed, frustrated, and scared. Not to mention hopeless and alone.
I took a deep breath, and in that moment I realized how completely at war I was with my body and myself.
Months of going to doctors and trying everything else I could think of (acupuncture, herbs, diet changes, etc.) had led me to a state of complete disconnection. I had been trying so hard to figure out what was going on so I could fix my body, or find someone who could, that I had completely neglected to take the time to tune into myself, and my bodies innate power to heal.
Luckily by the time I was in this situation, suffering with pelvic pain, I had already had some very powerful experiences with healing my body and relying on it as a guide in my life. Up until now, for the most part, I trusted my body. I had followed it’s guidance and direction successfully on many occasions – in my work, with my health, in parenting, and in my life in general.
And, one thing I knew for sure was that the struggle I was feeling with my body right now was in NO WAY going to help me relieve my pain.
So, now faced with this intense chronic burning pain in my vulva, and no doctor or alternative therapy I knew of that could help, I did the one thing I knew I could count on.
I let go of the struggle and decided to let my body lead.
I made a conscious choice to stop frantically looking for answers from doctors who had no idea what to do. I would stop searching for answers outside myself and turn my attention inside, where I knew the answers always were.
I’ll admit there was a part of me that was skeptical that listening to my body could get me out of this pain, but the alternative was not working.
So, I took a deep breath and sank into my body. I imagined filling up my heart with pure love energy and sent that love down to the pain. I asked my body what it needed. What I needed. What the heck was going on?
My body had lots of answers.
My body helped me to see things that were happening in my life that I hadn’t been aware of, but that were leading to pelvic pain. It showed me how scared I was of expressing my true desires, especially sexually, and how I had been putting my partners needs first in so many areas of our relationship. It told me that I needed to speak up more and be more authentic – as scary as that felt. Over the next few months, my body guided me to the places in me that still needed healing, including to the effects of childhood sexual abuse that until then I had been in complete denial about.
The decision to let me body lead, began my process of healing pelvic pain by healing the mental and emotional issues that were underlying it. A process that was guided by my body – and my willingness to keep tuning in, listening, and applying the guidance I was hearing.
My symptoms began improving, and were completely gone within months.
How To Apply My Experience To Relieve Your Pain
If you’re struggling with pelvic pain right now, and you’re stuck in your mind trying to figure it all out, feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, alone, and scared, it’s time to check in with your body.
Start with a few deep breaths into your low belly and down into your pelvis. Settle into your body with an open heart and a willingness to listen. Fill yourself with love and send some to your symptoms – to your vulva, your bladder, your whole pelvic bowl.
Ask these questions:
What do you need?
What do I need?
Is there something you want me to know?
Be patient. If you aren’t used to connecting to your body or don’t have practice trusting it’s guidance, it may take a little time to re-connect and hear it’s messages. But that’s ok! Just get headed in the right direction….
Inward rather than Outward
And you will get there too.
For more specific steps to re-connect with your body, hear its guidance, and use a Mind Body approach to relieve pelvic pain, check out these posts too: