Back in 2009 I began experiencing pain and burning during intercourse that eventually turned into chronic vulvar pain. This was the beginning of my search for what causes painful sex.

Not only was I angry with my body, I also felt like I was broken and that my body was working against me. It was stopping me from having something I really wanted…a deep intimate connection with my partner.

So, it was a surprise to me, that a big part of relieving my pain turned out to be fully embracing my sexuality.

In order to do that, I needed to uncover and release a lifetime of shame and negative conditioning that was getting in the way, and that I hadn’t previously been aware was impacting me.

Like most women, I grew up in a family and culture that both subtly and openly shames and blames women around their bodies and sexuality.

That conditioning was showing up in my body and my relationship.

Embracing my body, emotions, sexuality, and pleasure is how I healed. You can read more about my story here.

I have been helping women relieve pelvic and sexual pain now for over 12 years. I have helped 100s of women in my groups, courses, and private coaching to heal and reclaim a positive relationship with their sexuality and pleasure, and I’ve discovered that almost all of these women, even if they were also surprised to realize it, struggled with negative conditioning and shame around their sexuality too.

What causes painful sex for my clients? Many have the same issues I had.

Regularly, the women I work with uncover beliefs like “sex is dirty”, self-pleasure is bad, that they owe their partners intercourse or are broken as a woman if they can’t provide it.

They’ve struggled with speaking up during sex and owning their desires.

They have anxiety around intercourse and a lack of understanding of their own arousal anatomy and how it works.

Far far far too many women have had sexual experiences that didn’t feel good to them because they froze and couldn’t speak up, and many more because they were assaulted, drugged, or abused.

Where have you struggled around fully embracing your sexuality and pleasure?

Your pleasure and sexuality matter. They aren’t just a frivolous extra, they are a critical component of your health and wellbeing–a key ingredient of feeling alive and healthy and relieving pain.

Fear, trauma, confusion, lack of education, pelvic pain, and other negative experiences around your sexuality or pleasure may be cutting you off from one of the most wonderful parts of you.

Disconnection from your vagina and sexuality disconnects you from yourself.

In my experience you can’t relieve pelvic pain without healing this split.

The good news is that this is absolutely doable.

Here’s what I hope you will take away from my experience…

First, that so many women are suffering from some level of disconnection from their vagina and sexuality, and most of us are not talking about it. If this is you, whether you’ve experienced pain during sex or not, you are not alone.

Second, it is virtually impossible to release chronic tension from your body and pelvis, restore healthy energy flow and relieve pain, if you have not done the work to reconnect with and reclaim your sexual self.

Third, this is absolutely possible no matter what your conditioning and experiences up until now, have been. The truth is that your sexuality is good and wholesome. It is your life force energy, a part of your essence, and a critical component of your health and wellbeing.

This is why I am on a mission to help women reconnect and thrive in their sexuality..so that they can relieve pelvic pain!

You deserve to love and accept ALL of yourself – and experience your body as the source of pleasure, love, joy and beauty that it is.

If you’re ready to get started, check out my Healing Female Pain program.