Most women believe they are caring for themselves when they diet and workout to lose weight. But trying to lose weight because you don’t like how you look is not self-care, it’s self-rejection. Even if you lose the weight or get in shape, it won’t last. The first step to successful, lasting change is to fully embrace who you are now.
How will you feel when you have the body you are dreaming of having? You will adore your amazing body! And that’s what you’re really after, that feeling of being in love with yourself – not a thinner body. It is that feeling that will create a healthy beautiful body. It’s not the other way around.
Men love women who love themselves. People are attracted to women who love themselves. It’s the energy they’re attracted to. You are beautiful when you think you are. (Think Queen Latifah). If you think losing weight will help you to feel beautiful, think again. Beautiful is a state of mind.
When you believe the thought that you have to lose weight you are taking the position that you are not ok the way you are. The pain that you are causing by rejecting yourself will never allow you to successfully create a healthy beautiful body. You’ve got to clean up your thinking and your vibration first.
Here’s my mission in life…..to get every woman on the planet to know that they are beautiful, wonderful and PERFECT, yes perfect – even with cellulite, even when they lose their tempers, even when they’re in pain, even when they fall short of their own ideals…….perfect EXACTLY the way they are. Why? Because I know from experience that it is not possible to reject or criticize yourself into where you want to be. You have to love yourself there.
Here’s the thing. If you don’t start thinking that you are beautiful exactly the way you are you will NEVER feel that way, no matter how much weight you lose. You will never feel happy, peaceful, joyful or content. You will never be FREE. The only way to get what you want in your life…..whether it’s skinny, rich, in love, passionate about your work, or vibrantly healthy is to LOVE YOURSELF into it.
Notice what happens in your body when you think the thought “I have to lose weight”. Do you feel expansive and happy and energetic or does it make you want to get under the covers and eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s?
Try this. Imagine stepping into a world where you can’t think the thought I have to lose weight. Just for a few minutes allow yourself to go there. Notice anything? Maybe you feel relief, ease, peace, joy or playfulness. Spend some time there. Who are you being in your life when you totally love and embrace yourself EXACTLY the way you are? My hunch is you’re happier, you have more energy, you may be more open with other people, more playful and feeling freer. Tell me where I’m wrong.
If you already thought you were perfect what would you be doing? My hunch is you’d be doing what feels good –you’d be focused on creating, playing and connecting. Would you be restricting calories? Probably not, but you would probably be less focused on food and feeding yourself lots of delicious healthy food – and some yummy not so healthy food. Would you be forcing yourself to workout? Probably not, but I bet you’d be exercising or moving for the joy of it and with an attitude of caring for your already beautiful body.
It may feel uncomfortable to start thinking that you are beautiful the way you are. You probably aren’t going to all of a sudden believe it. That’s ok. That feeling can be cultivated. Start by making the decision to love yourself the way you are. Decide that you are beautiful and treat yourself as if you are. Stop trying to change yourself. Pretty soon you’ll recognize the beauty that’s always been there.
So many women are trying to change themselves so they can love themselves. When I’m thinner than I’ll ___________. Don’t put your joy on hold. Think and be the woman who loves her body exactly the way it is. Fall in love with yourself now, and your reality will shift to match that.
Amen Sistah! I gave away all my “skinny” clothes that I was saving for when I lost weight at our last Sister Goddess clothing swap, sold the bathroom scale at our garage sale, and bought a bunch of lovely,comfy, fair-trade feminine garments that celebrated my curves… I am loving myself more and more as I am and focusing on nurturing myself to restore my overworked adrenals and relax my way into well-being…and of course, now I am slimming and changing size without even trying to 🙂
I love it! I am celebrating you throwing out those clothes and focusing on caring for yourself in the beautiful body that your in. And I love how the slimming is happening now that you are embracing who and where you are. It’s inevitable! xo
Wonderful post Lorraine. I shared the link to this blog with a weight loss group I’m leading (all of them are my first cousins). I thought it was a very good article on loving one’s self in the here and now and it’s in line with our topic of trying to connect with our bodies, listening to it and being the kind and compassionate observer. The timing for us is impeccable. Thanks so much and hope you don’t mind me sharing it with them.
Hi Maria. Wow. You must have a lot of first cousins. 🙂 It sounds like a great group. I’d like to hear more about what you’re doing. I LOVE that you shared the post and that the timing was impeccable. Thank YOU so much!
Beautiful post, Lorraine. I loved the bit about imagining that you were in a world where you can’t think the thought that you need to loose weight. So vivid!
Hi Kari. Great to hear from you! Thanks for reading and for your feedback. That’s one of my favorite tools – What would it feel like – who would I be being if I couldn’t think this thought? It is vivid. Great description. Hope you and your family are doing well! xo
Very inspiring. It does not only work for beauty. How about feeling “unaccomplished/unvalid/unvalidated” in the workplace? There comes the “I need to change my job” feeling and the underlying conviction “When I have a new job where I will be validated for what I am I will feel accomplished and I will feel I am worthy”. Gotta work on reversing the assumption. Thank you for the inspiration.